I will be getting more comic strip boards on Saturday so there will be a gap of time without them. I don’t know how many people like them, but I am committing myself to them for a while. I may set up a separate site just for the strips at some point, but for now, they will be posting here and on the AMOL facebook page.
I have been cleaning up some in the house. Years worth of dirt and mayhem in the basement are leaving more and more and it is turning into a place that might be good to spend time in. Imagine that- a house with a livable basement. My sister was going to move in down there so there were plans on making it livable for her and her fiancee. I decided to continue the renovations myself.
I ordered some mold remover and a spray container to apply it. There has been mold down there for a long while now and I am more than happy to finally be able to get something and do something for it.
I would love to be able to put some flooring down and some walling as well. Right now, it is pretty much a dump- not something you would want to look at for very long. There are so many options for that space, but right now, I want to set up a tv and a game system as well as put some exercise equipment down there. Maybe I will even have a little place to do art down there as well.
It feels good to be able enough to do this sort of thing. I feel energized about it, but hesitant to think about how much more work has to happen down there. I grew up for a long while in a nice house that had a finished basement and it has been a long long while since something like that was even thinkable for me. I’m feeling like I am getting some of my old youth and good energy back in the now.
The roof in the studio still leaks and the ceiling is a disaster, but I am making it work for now and just ignoring the in-pour of rain that comes in on heavy rains. I tried to rig up a towel/bucket combo to suck up all of the rain that creeps down the wall.
I can only do so much because I am only one person but any amount of progress is still progress and that is a good thing. I still feel my anxiety is a big problem, but I am making incremental progress every day. I am learning how to take better care of myself and that feels good. I came from a very dark place- one that was wrought with intense fear and trepidation so much so that I was unable to do the minor things that everyone takes for granted.
I am not 100%, but again, progress is progress. Giving all of those lizards away to a pet store was a big relief and the money that went to them is now going towards the house and that makes me feel loads of relief. I have been getting some things together to sell on ebay and amazon and that has been troublesome because the house is full of things I don’t want and I have other things I want to take care of.
It is difficult to make myself do the things that will net me some profit, but piece by little piece, forward momentum is gained. Sometimes a person just has to get over their difficulties and face the fact that things have to get done.
Meditation daily and reiki as well as some sort of exercise and a good diet have been the things that helped me be able to be in a better place than before. Paranoia still bothers me, but I am becoming more cognizant of it and peaceful about it. It is not an easy feat to overcome a mental illness, but progress every day is fundamental to success.
Medication is something I don’t like to admit that I need, but I do. I would love to be able to go off of it at some point, but I know it is what keeps my brain on right. Slowly, I would love to be able to decrease the dosages, but it has to be at the right time. I know I have to take a chance with it at some point and do it when I am healthy. There is so much information from so many different sources about what the right thing to do to recovery for just about every malady. It gets overwhelming to think about the ‘correct’ action to take.
I feel good enough now considering how many things I still have to face daily. It is never totally clear in my brain. I feel there is something draining my vibes away and I am pretty sure I know where it is coming from, but not much I can be sure on. I know that Archangel Michael meditations and protection meditations and all sorts of psychic routines and activities have a positive effect on this, but there is so much to get through some days.
I am working here and there on some of the card decks I have started. I want to get used to the way they work and the way I want to make them. One in particular has caught my attention and it seems to be a really exceptional one. I do plan on getting a reading up here tomorrow at some point. I want to commit to it more than I have been. I was so afraid of doing them for so long for fear of imparting incorrect information or of making myself look foolish, but I am getting over that too.
It seems the world is coming to a place that just works better. Some of the energies I have felt were so intense I thought I was going to explode almost. I feel an evening out of things and a more solid ground than I have known for a long long time. Progress every day is the way to go for me.
Thanks for reading, especially if you read all the way down here.
Tim Edwin B.
Filed under: bipolar, life, meditation, mental illness, update, writing Tagged: blog about life, home repair, journal entry, lightworker, llife, mental-health, progress in life
